


A Half Life

by livesybaby



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, young!robron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 07:05:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13266246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livesybaby/pseuds/livesybaby
Summary: Random drabble set in a young!Robron AURobert's leaving for a new life with Chrissie, Aaron tries to change his mind





	A Half Life

Aaron had been barely nine years old when he discovered the hideaway in the woods. His Mum was on the rampage because he’d nicked a fiver from the pot at Uncle Zak’s and blown it on dolly mixture from David’s shop. That’s how he’d met Robert, a tall blonde nearly-twelve year old who wore funny looking jumpers. They’d bonded over sweets and comic books, making the meetings in their woodland den a regular thing. Their parents had initially banned them from meeting up, something to do with family honour and Dingles hating Sugdens and vice-versa. 

But then Aaron had been eleven, running away from an _angry Cain_ and stumbled right into the path of Jack Sugdens Land Rover. He’d recovered from a nasty bump on the settee up at the farm, Robert keeping him company until Chas came rushing through the doorway spouting nonsense about suing and compensation. Chas and Jack had watched over the two friends, Aaron smiling for once as Robert regaled the story of why Superman was far superior to Spiderman. So they’d let it be, sure the two families were never going to see eye-to-eye but what harm was it that the two younger ones were allowed to be friends? _best friends_. 

Aaron had known for most of his life that he wasn’t into girls, he spent the first part of his teenage years chasing them around and feigning interest but it was Robert who had seen through his cover. Aaron was sixteen and Robert was giving him the big brother style talk of how “It’s alright if you don’t like girls, it’s cool” and for a while they’d kept it just between them but by the time Aaron hit his seventeenth birthday it was common knowledge in the village that he was Gay. 

Something else that was common knowledge was Jack Sugdens old-fashioned views on relationships. He’d made no secret of assuring anyone who’d listen that Robert would be married with children, successful and _normal_ , an asset to the family. Robert agreed, of course he did.. he wanted nothing more than to make his Dad proud of him, even if that meant denying a part of him that both he and Aaron knew existed. 

They were older now, still best friends but not in the childlike sense of running riot through the woodlands. Aaron was nearing Nineteen and Robert had just turned Twenty-One. There had been a huge family argument when Robert had revealed he didn’t want to carry on the family tradition of being a farmer, he wanted better, he wanted more. That had always been Roberts flaw, never content with what he had already. By now Aaron worked in his Uncles garage as a mechanic, Robert was working in IT up at Home Farm and by the time the White’s came to the village he was becoming a successful business man. 

Chrissie White was everything Aaron hated in a person, stuck-up, money-crazed and forever looking down on _his sort_. But she had wealth and status and she was drop-dead gorgeous, she had Robert hook-line-and-sinker. She was Roberts way out of the village, she’d made sure of that. Her father promising a posh apartment in Leeds, a stake in the family business and a _future_ that Aaron couldn’t compete with, that’s all it had taken for Robert to agree to leave the village. 

Aaron had been supportive, _of course_ he had, he was his best friend. But the thought of Robert not being there with him anymore was starting to tug on his heartstrings, and the strong feelings he’d shoved to the back of his mind growing up were beginning to surface and Aaron wasn’t sure he could let Robert go, not without knowing if there was a chance, _any chance_ that they could be happy together.

That’s how he’d ended up here, at their secret meeting place.. the barn in the top field at just a little after midnight, knowing that this would be his last chance because Robert was leaving tomorrow, his _entire world_ was falling apart. Aaron was a lot past tipsy but a little less than drunk - _dutch courage_ \- he’d told himself. Except the massive speech he’d prepared in his head as he’d text Robert to meet him had suddenly drowned itself in half a bottle of whiskey and now he was _bricking it._

“You don’t want me to go, I get that..but you can come visit me all the time, and I’ll come back here”

“It’s not enough Rob-..” Aaron blurted “I..I can’t do this..” 

“What are you saying, Aaron?” Robert sighed, carding his fingers through his hair

“I..I don’t know..” Aaron mumbled, screwing up his face 

“You’re my best mate Aaron, I don’t know what else you want from me-..”

“..- _More_ ” Aaron admitted “I want more, Rob… more than you can give” 

“I…I don’t understand..” Robert stopped pacing, facing him dead on

“I’m not gonna… I’m not saying I _love_ you Rob, because fucks sake.. I’m _eighteen_ and I’m not entirely sure I even know what love feels like..” Aaron rambled, pausing to assess Roberts expression, unreadable. 

“..-but I don’t think… I _know_ I can’t do this without you.. I need you Rob, more than you’ll ever know and.. Its killing me to think of you playing happy families with.. with _her!_ when I know that’s not what you want, not really..”

“Y-You’re wrong” Robert swallowed thickly, averting his eyes from the pleading man before him

“Don’t do this Rob.. I _know_ you.. I know you better than anyone, I know you better than you know yourself…” Aaron gripped him by the shoulders, fighting as he tried to shove him away “Look at me!” 

Robert flickered his eyes up to meet Aaron’s watery blues, swallowing the lump in his throat as he did so.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel the same and I’ll walk away, right now” Aaron breathed

“I-I.. I C-Can’t do this Aaron..” 

“Can’t or Won’t?” Aaron challenged, refusing to lighten his grip on the older man

“This is a good opportunity for me” He rambled “I’ll have a job and a marriage, Dad’s proper proud and-..”

“..-Don’t do this for Jack, I _know_ he doesn’t like me, doesn’t like the idea of his son hanging round with some gay lad who’s probably going nowhere in life-..”

“..-Don’t say that.. You’re not just some lad Aaron, you’re my-..” 

“..-Tell me you choose Chrissie, tell me right now and mean it” Aaron’s voice cracked as he spoke “Tell me that you’re not just going away because it’s what your Dad wants for you, tell me you’d give up any chance of happiness.. _with me_.. because it’s genuinely what you want” 

“I.. this is _good_ for me..”

“But is it enough?”

“Does it matter?” Robert relented “If things were different if-..”

“If I was a _girl_ ” Aaron choked out “It’s okay Rob, you can say it” 

“He’s never been proud of me.. not until now..” Robert sighed

“He’s proud of you for being something that you’re not, how’s that feel Sugden?” Aaron rolled his eyes, letting go of Roberts jacket and stepping back reluctantly

“...-and what about _your family_? huh? They’d be well impressed with you setting up home with a fucking _Sugden_.” Robert retorted “A Sugden who’s going nowhere because he gave up his chance to get out and then his Dad kicked him out for being a disappointment so now he’s relying on some dead-end job to keep food on the table?” 

“I’d sooner have that than the alternative” Aaron shrugged

“What? You’d want that life? Shunned by our entire families because what? I like lads and you’re shacking up with the local failure?” 

“I’d be _with you_ ” Aaron blurted “I wouldn’t care because I’d be _with you_.”

“Yeah? Well I’m saving us both then.” Robert shook his head, turning to leave “This isn’t a love story, Aaron” 

\--

Aaron hadn’t made it home that night. He’d slept in the barn and woke up at barely 9am with straw scratches on the backs of his arms and a shiver vibrating all through his body. Standing outside of the door he’d glanced down towards the Sugden farmhouse, the chimney wasn’t smoking as usual so that meant the family were out, probably all up at Home Farm saying their final goodbyes and telling their son how proud they were. 

If he’d looked rough leaving the pub last night with his belly full of liquor then he looked a hell of a state now. He’d dragged himself in through the back door and up the stairs, trying to warm his bones in a red hot shower and using the intense heat to block out the constant ache in his heart and the rattle in his head. Even fully dressed and with his breakfast inside him he felt numb, he hadn’t bothered to gel his hair and informing Cain he wouldn’t be working today fell to the back of his mind. He stared into space with the TV switched off and listened to the silent buzz of the lunch hour in the pub the only thing bringing the emptiness to life. 

Chas had called his name three times before he noticed her presence at his side, he’d invented some cock-and-bull story of not feeling well and lay with his head on the arm of the settee, shutting his eyes and hoping that everyone would just leave him to lose himself in thought. Chas had waited until he fell asleep, concerned about the lack of pigment in his skin and emptiness in his eyes, his skin was cold to touch and even when she lay one of Lisa’s crocheted blankets over the top of his sleeping form he hadn’t stirred. 

He’d spent the best part of two weeks in that state, and even by his birthday when he assured everyone he was fine he still didn’t look himself. His skin now had colour and life but his eyes still had that emptiness inside them and he was still vacant at the best of times, like he’d rather be anywhere else but here. He’d been hiding out in the back room on his Nineteenth, swilling lukewarm beer around his mouth before reluctantly swallowing, it’s what you did - isn’t it? Get drunk on your birthday? But for some reason it didn’t feel right. 

If he hadn’t been gazing into nothingness in the back room of the pub he might have got excited when Robert walked into the bar, alone and carrying nothing but a beaten up old rucksack on his back. He’d made a beeline for Chas behind the bar when he hadn’t seen Aaron up to his usual birthday antics. 

“No party?” He’d asked tentatively, approaching the bar

Chas shook her head sadly “Don’t know what’s going on with him, he’s not been right since you left” 

He’d debated going into the back room, saying what he’d wanted to say on the train ride here but the sight of his Dad in the corner had stalled him. 

“Robert? What’s going on, you’re not supposed to be back here for another few weeks?”

“Change of plan” Robert had swallowed, feeling all eyes on him “I wanna come home Dad”

“What have you done now?” Jack’s face changed from supportive within seconds “You haven’t screwed it up already?”

“I couldn’t do it Dad…” Robert sighed “.. I don’t love her” 

“Of course you don’t love her _yet_ , you’re a young lad.. it’ll happen soon” Jack shook his head “.. you’re getting married in a few months” 

“No Dad” Robert said sternly “No, I’m not getting married”

“I’m sure you can talk her round, it’s just a little argument - everyone has them”

“I don’t love her Dad”

“You don’t know how you feel Son-..”

“No Dad” Robert snapped “I know _exactly_ how I feel”

Jack was taken aback, looking around the bar at everyone who had stopped their drinks to watch the exchange

“I Love…I’m in love with someone else Dad..” Robert breathed, his heart thundering in his chest

“Well.. who is she son?” Jack furrowed his brow “You haven’t been around any girls long enough to know you love them” 

“No.. No I haven’t..” Robert nodded, breathing shakily as he watched Aaron appear behind his Mum, quietly exiting the back room and standing in the bar area, eyes alive with questions.

“There is no other girl..” he admitted, without looking back to his Dad

“Then what’s the problem? If there’s no other girl then-…” Jacks eyes followed his son, past Chas who had also turned to look in the direction of Roberts gaze. 

“It’s Aaron.. I’m in love with Aaron” Robert blurted.

Aaron froze for a moment, stunned at the revelation before colour took over his cheeks and a shy smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. 

“ _My Aaron?_ ” Chas gasped, looking between the two 

“But Aaron’s a-..” Jack began

“A bloke” Robert interrupted bluntly “Not a girl, not your future daughter-in-law, not someone who’s going to birth a few grandkids for the family album” 

“But I Love him, and he loves me.. so I don’t really care what anyone else thinks” Robert shrugged, looking over at his best friend with a smile

“Is this true?” Chas was first to speak, turning to her son “Do you love him, son?”  
“Yeah” Aaron breathed without missing a beat “Yeah, I do” 

“Well it was bound to happen sooner or later” Chas shrugged, snapping back into her usual self “Pint, Rob?”

Robert nodded, cheeks filled with blush as he realised his surroundings and how many people were watching. Aaron had joined him around the other side of the bar, nervously hovering next to him as he assessed the situation. 

“You came back” Aaron breathed “For me?”

“For _us_ ” Robert nodded “I came back for us” 

Robert’s hands trembled as he reached forward, running a thumb across Aaron’s stubbled cheek before leaning in nervously, hyper-aware of their audience as he brushed his lips against the only man in the room who mattered. Aaron’s breath felt hot on his skin, nervously panting until Robert cut off the exhale by planting his lips firmly over the younger man’s, moving them gently in sync yet desperately trying to control his _want_ in favour of not giving the entire pub and it’s punters an eyeful. They pulled away reluctantly, smiling shyly at one and other as a group of old ladies in the corner cheered. 

They’d been so lost in their little world that it was a while before anyone noticed Jack Sugden had left. Robert had been disappointed, of course he had but Jack didn’t matter any more. It wasn’t Jack who would be spending years of his life, miserably trapped in a marriage he didn’t want when the best thing that ever happened to him was sat at home leading a completely different life, _a half life_. Now they were together, now they were whole.


End file.
